Their Secret Life | The Present Prevention Challenge
By: Janna Payne Sells

"It's my job to be in your business, I am your mother."

Those were my mother's exact words after she found a notebook full of handwritten letters (pre-digital footprint) that I haphazardly threw into our family's wood burning fireplace. Fire is a funny thing. It can completely destroy evidence or leave it untouched; it all depends on the flame and oxygen flow. As you've already figured out, that fire I tried to use to destroy evidence of my unhealthy adolescent behavior didn't work. My mother was standing in front of me with all my secrets in her hand. My heart was racing. My words were fierce. My mind was blurred with questions — Had she read it? How fast can I grab it and run? Has she no boundaries? She has totally invaded my privacy. I'm going to be grounded forever. Please don't tell Daddy.

That was my junior year of high school. I think. Possibly younger.

I was the oldest daughter of two married, college-educated, Christian, hard-working, middle-class parents. For me it was a phase. For three of my classmates it was a death sentence. For some of my family it is a daily battle. For two of my friends it changed their lives forever.

Alcohol and drug addiction do not discriminate. Your children are not immune and if you think they've never tested, you're dangerously ignorant.

My career started in an elementary classroom, progressed into a building leadership position, and that grew me into a district leadership position. That district position changed my life forever. It immersed me into a space in education I had previously never understood. This experience rerooted my compelling why. My official role was MTSS (Multi-Tiered System of Support) Coordinator. That's a fancy acronym that basically means I help coach support systems for students who have academic, behavior, and social emotional needs.

I cannot count the children (5th–12th grade) and parents that I talked to about alcohol and drug use. Then it seemed to be part of the job. It wasn't until this year that I realized for many of these kids this is NOT a phase. These kids are NOT okay. We have to make changes! How do we do that?

I began drafting the following personal convictions and questions around drug and alcohol use in young adolescents and teens based off my personal experience:

1. These children do not own their privacy. Why are we not in their business?
2. Your socio-economic status, race, or religious or athletic affiliation does not protect your child. Why are we ignoring the most at-risk?
3. Children today have access to much more deadly toxicity levels. How did we get here?
4. DARE doesn't work. How do we really work on prevention?

I am here to challenge you in a #presentprevention movement. Whether you are a parent, teacher, or mentor, it is OUR JOB TO BE IN THEIR BUSINESS. We could spend hours discussing brain development and the physical need for adult guidance in young adolescents and teens, but we'll leave it with — they don't have the capacity to make good decisions. Be present. Don't discriminate. Don't be the adult that has to say, "If only I could turn back time and not miss the warning signs." Don't pretend your kid is immune. Take an active role. Your business is their business.

Did you know?

"Kids with at least 5 positive adult relationships outside their parents are 90% less likely to end up with a juvenile delinquency record."

William Lassiter, NC Department of Public Safety

I wish I could promise that your presence will prevent dangerous behavior with absolute certainty, but I can't. Unfortunately, even with the most present parents, some of our children slip through. What I can promise is that your presence will drastically reduce the odds.

Accept the #presentprevention challenge by becoming knowledgeable of the signs that are hidden in plain sight. Complete the following checklist.

1. Thoroughly perform routine bedroom checks.
2. Talk eye to eye with your child and their friends.
3. Collect their phones or devices at night.
4. Monitor their online and digital activity.
5. Stay abreast of the trends.

Remember, their business is your job. Do you suspect your child is abusing drugs or alcohol? It is important to trust your gut, closely monitor your child's behavior and understand that privacy does not become the priority over ensuring their safety.

Here are some tips and resources that may help you through the challenge.

Tips for bedroom checks:

• Don't overlook the obvious — paraphernalia, pro-drug-use swag, bottles, caps, posters, etc.
• Drawers. Inside is a good start, but don't forget to check the bottoms and backs.
• Vents. Pull them out and clean them out.
• Bottle & fake cans. Smell and taste. Don't forget to check the bottoms. Kids can order water bottles that hide drugs online.
• Shoes. Not just the toes, but under the soles.
• Closets. Clothes, totes, the back corners and back of shelves.
• The bed. Between mattresses. Inside pillows. The box spring. Headboards and footboards.
• Behind mirrors and posters.
• Inside lamps.
• Small boxes and cases. Examples: jewelry boxes, pencil boxes, make-up, CD & DVD cases, etc.
• Inside or between books. Flip through the pages.
• Inside ceiling panels.
• Inside computers or speaker systems.
• On the top of bookshelves, vanities, or high shelves.
• The gap between the bottom drawer and the floor.

Tips for phone checks:

• Check accounts that delete communication and evidence (e.g., Snapchat).
• Look for hidden apps like the following: AppLock, Vault, Vaulty, SpyCalc, Hide It Pro, CoverMe, Secret Photo Vault, Secret Calculator, Calculator Photo Vault.
• Talk to your children about digital dangers.
• Charge your children's phones in your room at night.

Tips for behavior checks:
Remember to use your nose, look them in the eye, and monitor their behavior.

• Shifts in mood, motivation, and/or personality
• Change in relationships with close friends and/or family
• Avoid eye contact
• Locked doors
• Secret phone use
• Excessive gum, mints, or candies
• Energy swings (very active followed by long rest periods)
• Leaves or disappears for random reasons
• Overuse of eye drops
• Poor hygiene or appearance: smoke, cleanliness, track marks, messy hair
• Weight fluctuation
• More frequent sickness

Other resources: Hidden in Plain Sight, How to Spot the Signs, How to Search a Room, Signs of Teen Drug Use

Are you or someone you love impacted by addiction? Do you need support?

Please Contact Us:
Info@EBIntervention.org
https://ebintervention.org/
(615) 482-1831

My Secret Life

A True Story to Engage and Supervise Your Child or Student
Written By: Adam Simon — EB Intervention Team

Addiction was not a very important conversation in my family until it was about me. No one would have ever believed that I would end up looking at a seven year prison sentence at 22 years old from where I came from. I had a wonderful life.

I often hear that addicts have something really wrong in their lives or something missing that causes a life of ruin to take place. We hear many uninformed well meaning people share that the breakdown of the family unit, godlessness, or childhood trauma is to blame for the plight of the addict. They could not have helped it, we often hear. I share my story to poke holes in those narratives of addiction. I have not seen an entity in our society that is more egalitarian than addiction. It is no respecter of race, color, language, gender or socio economic background. It will consume and destroy the lives of those it afflicts. It is a rapacious creditor to all those who are involved with the one afflicted.

My parents are some of the most incredible Christians I have ever met. They have been engaged in a loving marriage for over 42 years. Many of our family friends have a sort of jesting jealousy towards the love affair and relationship they have. They raised us in a faithful home where love and forgiveness were the keystones of my childhood. Our parents read us the bible and prayed with us daily. We were a family that ate meals together at a round wooden table with our assigned seats every dinner throughout my childhood. My sister and I were loved fully and often overfed, as I like to say. We won the ovarian lottery. My family was often referred to as The Cleavers. We were raised in a small one red light town in Tennessee, where my family was well known and of the top 2% of wealth in our area. We seemingly had a life that would create a safeguard from the darkness of the world. Not you, right?

I was 12 years old the first time I grabbed my first bottle of alcohol and started my journey towards drug addiction and alcoholism. Within six months of my first drink I had gotten drunk alone and begun to smoke weed, inhale synthetic and designer drugs, and found pharmaceutical means of self medicating. At 16 it was cocaine and by 18 I had found methamphetamine. I was arrested the first time in a 3rd world country when I was 17 and had participated in a myriad of local, state, federal and international felonious acts as a result of my drug addiction. During this period, I still excelled in academics, athletics and frequented church and church events. I was able to recover quickly and utilize very small amounts of time and money to engage and to grow my addiction.

Addiction is often not a relevant issue in many communities until it's your child or someone you love. It often only takes a certain family to highlight the nature of addiction. It's important to understand that in many communities kids like me will start their journey this year. However, there is hope in this process. We can and we do recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. Our engagement and supervision in our kids lives are of the utmost value.

3 Simple Steps to Engage and Supervise Your Child or Student

1. There are many different applications and services available. A few top rated apps are called Bark, Qustudio, and WebWatcher. Your kids will revolt at the mention of this application, however it is vital for you to understand about their life online. It will give you a more accurate picture of where they are.
2. Take a look at all of their friends and the places they frequent. A real strict assessment of the places and people in your kids life is paramount. You need to know the influences in their lives. It's very important to not dismiss family. Family often lends itself to the most access available for your kids.
3. Schedule regular time to be with each of your kids. This time should not be family time. Spend time individually with each one of your kids on a regular basis. So often I counsel kids to reach out and sit down with their parents and share openly and honestly, and they don't know how to do that. It must become a necessity in your lives. Sit down, ask your child how they are doing and then just listen.

To read and learn more from the EB Intervention Team, click here.

Do you or someone else you love suffer from drug or alcohol addiction? Do you need support?

Please Contact Us:
Info@EBIntervention.org
https://ebintervention.org/
(615) 482-1831

Are We Listening?
Understanding and Supporting Children's Complex Thinking Skills
Written By: Adrianne Blackwelder

Understanding children and student's thinking and learning along with executive function skills.

What she said was… "I can't do it" … "I don't know how" … "This is too hard" … She lacked the ability to explain her frustration, and I wasn't really hearing her. We sat in my home office together, for what seemed like hours. We both became frustrated, often to the point of tears. I felt that she was being defiant … she thought I was being unreasonable.

Only one of us was correct.

I have spent the last year and a half researching and learning the ins and outs of executive function and its many connections to students' success in school. As a PhD student, this is the area I have carved out for myself and I am entranced by the complexities of these relationships. But, I won't bore you with that here.

This blog will provide you with an overview of executive function and will explain how these skills (and skill deficits) often manifest at home and in academics. I am not a cognitive scientist nor am I a psychologist. I am an educator and a parent. My goal is to share a bit of what I have learned and how we have overcome executive function challenges to develop stronger habits of mind and more effective practices.

First, let me give you a working definition. Executive function is most often described as a set of cognitive processes that help an individual organize, plan, attend, and persist. Often described as the brain's "air traffic control center", these skills are essential for setting and achieving goals. For a child, that may mean engaging in appropriate social interactions, cleaning their room, or completing a complex mathematics problem.

Three subskills involved with executive function are:

• Working memory. The ability to keep information in mind and use it successfully.
• Flexible thinking. The ability to think about something in multiple ways.
• Inhibitory control. The ability to control attention and impulse responses.

Children use these skills from the time they wake up until they go to sleep. Consider how these processes impact tasks at home (getting dressed for school, interacting with siblings, saving and spending allowance, completing homework) and at school (listening during instruction, completing a complex math problem, ignoring distractions, contributing to group projects).

Returning to the opening vignette, I wonder if you can guess who was correct…

She was. My six-year-old daughter struggles with the skills I have invested so much time studying, and I missed it for sooo long. As parents and educators, when we recognize these challenges, we can provide appropriate and scaffolded support.

1. Break It Down

Break a task down into small, manageable steps or phases. If cleaning a bedroom causes frustration and requires an unreasonable amount of time, give your child tasks to complete. For example, "Clean up these blocks, then put up those books. When you are finished with those two tasks, come see me." You can increase the complexity and number of steps as proficiency and confidence increase.

2. Think-Aloud

Modeling the way you think about a task or procedure can support a child to use similar metacognitive strategies. If a child is stumped by a mathematics word problem, model the way you identify necessary information.

3. Set Goals

Since executive function skills are involved with goal attainment, offer support by collaboratively goal-setting then planning for success. If a child struggles to react appropriately in disappointing social situations, identify the unwanted or unacceptable behavior and discuss a more appropriate alternative. Try counting to 5 before responding. Act out and practice this skill together. Set short-term goals and celebrate successes.

4. Encourage Creativity

Allow your child to think creatively in less structured and low-stakes environments. Summer is the perfect time to ditch the devices, get outside, and find things to do. As the parent or guardian, avoid the temptation to orchestrate what your child does in their play time.

5. Use Graphic Organizers

These tools offer external support for internal cognitive processes and support planning and organization. If a child struggles to manage time effectively, provide a visual schedule and give prompts as necessary. For goal setting, a graphic organizer may support a child's ability to backwards plan and monitor progress. In writing, these tools help a child think of the big picture and break the task into manageable sections.

6. Be Intentional

This is the most important strategy! Make your concerns transparent in a calm and reassuring way. Allow the child to see you as a partner and collaborator. Discuss the importance of the skills you are working on and make personal connections.

Monitor progress and celebrate successes.

You Can't Raise Positive People With Negative Feedback
5 Ways to "Flip the Switch" In Your Classroom: How to go from Fuss Fest to Less Stress
Written By: Amie Dean

Student behavior in school classrooms can be difficult. The importance of positive feedback by teachers and educators in their classrooms can lead to better student discipline.

"You can't raise positive people with negative feedback." Boom.

I remember sitting in a conference session as a young teacher with only a few years experience. I was listening to a very experienced gentleman leading the session about classroom discipline. I had just moved to Atlanta and was teaching in what was proving to be a challenging environment for me — and I was failing miserably. I'd always thought of myself as a very positive person, and I thought I was a positive teacher. I smiled and laughed with my students, I truly got to know them, and I gave personal, positive feedback anytime I could. This particular year, I was struggling. I had a very challenging group of 8th graders, all boys, who hated to read, and I was teaching them reading and language arts for 2 hours at the end of their middle school day. Let's just say that a good time was NOT had by all!

Because of the struggles, I asked a supervisor to come in and observe me teaching this particular class to give feedback and hopefully strategies to help. At the end of the observation, she asked me if she could be honest with me. I, of course, said yes, that is why I invited you. She said, "Amie, you didn't smile one time in 2 hours." I looked at her in a very confused way and asked, "Did you see anything to smile about?"

It was such an eye-opening and embarrassing moment for me. A few weeks later, I attended a breakout session focused on classroom discipline by Dr. Terry Alderman, author of Discipline A Total Approach. When Dr. Alderman opened with, "You can't raise positive people with negative feedback," it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Yes, my students' behavior was very difficult, but I had only been seeing or addressing the difficult behaviors. I was not making any attempts to notice when things were going well. I was so focused on what was wrong that I wasn't able to see what was right.

I immediately began to track positive behaviors. My new goal became to have at least two positive comments for every one corrective statement that I made. I put specific strategies in place to make myself accountable — moving paper clips from one pocket to the other, or tearing an index card. I saw a difference in the boys' behavior within days. More importantly, I started to feel better about this particular class as I forced myself to find what was working. I had finally found a way to "Flip the Switch."

5 simple ways to Flip the Switch:

1. Write down your WHY on an index card. Post it in several places around your room. Read it every day — every hour if you must! Hold on to that passion. It will be your fuel when the tank is empty.
2. Make a tangible effort to make at least 2x as many positive comments in your classroom as you do corrective statements. None of us spent years in school to get a degree in nagging. Don't let your day devolve into a fuss fest. Only YOU can control what comes out of your mouth — own it.
3. Take the time to write 2 positive post-it notes to 2 different students each day until every student has received one note. Sign each note with your name. Remember, NO suggestions or corrections on the positive post-it!
4. Ask an administrator, another teacher, or the media center specialist to stop in and share a compliment you gave your students while you were away from them. Sit back and enjoy the smiles.
5. ONE GOOD THING — Place a jar on your desk, and invite students to write one good thing on a slip of paper anytime. Randomly pull 2 or 3 a few times a week and share with the class. You are also coaching your students on how to "Flip the Switch" themselves.

Behind every successful confident student, you will find an adult who believed in them. What is the impact of the words you are choosing to use with your students? Do you need to flip the switch? If yes, you can do this. Your students deserve it.

Amie Dean, M.Ed, NBCT has been a teacher and behavior interventionist for 27 years. She is the founder of Educational Strategies Unlimited Consulting Firm and behaviorqueen.com. Connect with Amie at www.behaviorqueen.com.

MTSS | Beyond the Textbook
Written By: Janna Sells

What is MTSS? The implementation of raising student achievement in the classroom. How teachers, schools and educators can use leadership, data, communication and collaboration to improve student performance.

Are you sick of feeling the MTSS implementation burnout? Has MTSS become a four letter word where you serve? Tired of the theory not matching practice? We were too. Welcome to our roadshow. A group of educators who were charged with the job of making MTSS work to close gaps and raise student achievement. In our journey we've uncovered the tools needed to build an effective 3 Tiered Model. Let us start off by first saying, it was not easy. We made tons of mistakes, but we eventually got it right.

5 Critical Components of MTSS

There are 5 critical components, or pillars, that have to be carefully and thoughtfully crafted prior to implementation of MTSS. Without these 5 essential inputs, an MTSS model is simply impossible.

1) It all begins with LEADERSHIP

Leadership knowledge and reinforcement are the driving force behind a strong implementation model.

• Leaders equip themselves with the knowledge they need to lead teachers through implementation
• Leaders LEAD MTSS PLCs — know the data, lead the discussion, and equip teachers
• Leaders help align the arrows between the work teachers are doing in PLCs to their School Improvement Plan
• Leaders are active problem-solvers and strong advocates who support teachers so they may best serve students

2) Clear and consistent COMMUNICATION & COLLABORATION

More times than we are excited to admit, we've coached and supported sites with the best implementation intentions, but they failed because of the lack of clear communication. Knowing when and how to say the right things can make or break the culture around implementation. It's equally important that you bring teacher leaders in with you as you build your MTSS model. Their boots on the ground feedback is immeasurable and will help you stay ahead of potential threats.

3) Capacity and Infrastructure build sustainability

Invest in your people. Not programs. Work to build capacity in ALL of your staff to create a model that lasts.

• Invest and equip all the people in your building to help them see the strong role they play in the MTSS model.
• It's an all hands on deck approach. Every person in your building should see how their role impacts and aligns the arrows towards total school improvement.

4) Data-based problem-solving

We would never expect a doctor to begin writing a treatment plan for an ill patient without data based indicators suggesting the treatment is exactly what the patient needs. The same is true for educators. To teach without using a data-based, problem solving protocol is malpractice.

5) Data Evaluation drives continuous improvement

• There are many tactical tools to measure whether or not your implementation model is having a positive, negative, or neutral impact on students' growth and achievement.
• It's important that you triangulate your implementation data to get a true measure of impact.
• You must listen to your current indicators and humbly reflect and improve on them until your desired implementation is achieved.
• Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint. Be present. Be strategic. Be consistent.

A Three-Tiered Approach to Academics, Behavior, and Social Emotional Supports

i-LEADR, Inc. coaches a three-part, three-tiered model. We believe in order to truly serve the whole child, educators must systematically measure the effectiveness of tier 1 core supports in all three areas: academics, behavior, and social emotional.

Once the school begins acting on core areas of concern, they should start to identify students outside and perhaps within those areas who need strategic tier 2 and/or intensive tier 3 supports. Educators should measure the impact of students' response to instruction by using frequent progress monitoring.

The life blood of this model — Professional Learning Communities. None of this work should be done in isolation by a single teacher. These PLCs should be facilitated by a strong leadership team and should be communicated through School Improvement Team work.

Just remember, tradition does not make best practice when it stops being best for kids. Change is hard. Failure is unavoidable. How you rise from your failed attempts will determine the impact and effectiveness of your leadership.

To learn more about how i-LEADR coaches and supports MTSS implementation visit us at https://ileadr.com/service/.

Changing Disruptive Behavior in 5 Minutes
Changing Student Disruptive Behavior in the School Classroom — Teachers and Educators

We've all had that kid in our class. The kid that constantly disrupts our lesson, doesn't follow directions, and doesn't do a bit of work. The one that seems to get the entire class into a frenzy. We get so frustrated with them and either send them to another class, give them detention, or even an office referral. They become labeled as the "bad kid" or the "problem student" but have we taken the time to really know this student and why they behave the way they do?

How can we minimize the disruptive behavior from our most challenging students?

Take Time.

Days are jammed packed full of things to do and accomplish before that bell rings but just find 5 minutes of your day by:

• Greeting them at the door
• Talking with them in the hallways
• Sitting with them at lunch
• Waiting with them at the car/bus rider line

Find any time you can to talk with a student to get to know more about them and even them about you.

Have a Conversation.

This may sound simple but if you really listen you can put the pieces together.

• What are their likes and dislikes?
• What is home life like? Do they live with mom, dad, grandparents, etc.?
• Do they like school?
• What is their favorite subject?
• Who is their favorite teacher?

Simple questions will tell you so much about a student and why they might behave the way that they do.

Use What You Know.

Now that you've had a conversation and actually KNOW your student use the knowledge and information you just gained to make school some place they want to be.

• Incorporate their likes into your lessons to keep them engaged
• Use their likes as incentives for good behavior
• Home life may not be the best, so make your classroom and yourself a nurturing and supportive place that they want to come to everyday
• Talk with their favorite teacher about strategies and ideas that they use as something you can start implementing in your classroom
• Do check-in/check-out with their favorite teacher each day

5 minutes. That's all it took to find out more about your students. 5 minutes to make your classroom less disruptive. 5 minutes to change a life.